Should I Stay or Should I Go?

The old Clash song has taken on new meaning. And, it is with fair trepidation that I write this. This may strike a nerve with some readers...

I have been attending two churches for several months. My home church is a wonderful group of people. They introduced me to the Lord. They saw me through many issues, including the loss of my job and the depression that followed. They have helped us financially and spiritually. I have served on ministry teams, and am currently on the Audio/Visual team and the Praise Team. I have made many friends there, and am very happy with MY place in that group.

Yet there have been problems. While I have settled in quite nicely and found my place there, my family has not. My oldest daughter is the only girl in her Sunday School class of seven regulars. Occasionally another girl will visit, but most of the time it's her and 6 rowdy boys. Outside of the Tuesday Morning Ladies Bible Study, there is an annual retreat for ladies. My wife works, so she's only able to attend the retreat. And, they charge money for every dinner or party they have. With our income lately, we simply cannot afford to pay all the time, and who wants to constantly be a charity case? And they don't like pot-luck because they used to have them so often the members got tired of them. Well, I can tell you that's been over five years sincethe last one, 'cuz we've been members there for five years now. When they do have an event, there is nothing for the kids to do. We usually wind up leaving early.

So, I started looking elsewhere on Wednesday nights. I found a nice church, closer to home, with a lot of great programs - some of which I've already become involved. There are more girls in my daughter's class and there are programs for women with jobs. So, a couple of weeks ago, I picked up a New Member Packet.

The following Sunday, one of the leaders at my church remarked that they were trying to find ways to 'grow' the church. I mentioned a few things to him, but didn't get to the meat of the issues until the next Sunday when I mentioned the above problems. He was taken aback. He did not know about these issues, as his kids are grown and gone. We discussed this at length, and I mentioned that my wife would like to join in this conversation as well. I said that we would be available to share our ideas with the elders, the administrative team or anyone who wants to listen.

During the week between the first and second discussion, my wife and I prayed about changing churches and came to the conclusion that it's the same as running away from a problem. That church is our home. The theology is right on, and the people are friendly. We've already carved out a niche there. Why leave? We threw the New Member Packet from the other church in the trash.

How would you deal with problems such as those I've mentioned? Would you church-hop 'til you found the right one? Would you suffer in silence? Or would you choose to voice your opinion? I'll be honest. Had I not been asked (indirect though it was), I would not have said anything. We likely would have begun the transition to another place of worship. Instead, my wife and I would like to work with the church leadership to address these issues. We believe that addressing these issues will help to 'grow' the membership.

Hey, Bering is our home. Leaving there would be like cutting off relations with our own parents.