Writer's Block

Originally posted on 04.13.2005
Writer's Block
writ'er's block (rtrz)

n.

A usually temporary psychological inability to begin or continue work on a piece of writing.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Updated in 2003. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company . All rights reserved.

This column is all mine. I own it. That's the great thing about the internet, everyone can be published and most of the time it won't cost you a dime! So, I own this column. That means I can write to it whenever I want. That also means I don't have to write if I don't want. Why, then would I even attempt to write when suffering from Writer's Block?

Writer's Block means, basically, that I am not able to come up with anything to write. Ironically, my analysis of the source of my writer's block has led me to write this column.

For the last two years, I have wanted to become a preacher. Perhaps this is news to you who read my column. I hope it has been somewhat apparent, but... Anyway, I figure that by writing this column, I can get some of that out of my system while I get through school. I had planned to attend a local Christian university and study ministry, paying for it with my veteran's benefits. One package in particular is the only one I have not exhausted - the Texas Hazelwood Act. I had checked, and this school does accept veterans' benefits. I could'a swore I asked about Hazelwood, but maybe not.

So yesterday, I went to the veterans representative on campus to find out how to get Hazelwood started. I was informed that Hazelwood is the only veterans package this school cannot accept. It is only available to state schools like UT or A&M.

I was shocked. I was flabbergasted. I was <insert adjective here>. Now how am I stupposed to get into school? If I can't get into school, I'll be stuck doing computer work for the rest of my life. I was tempted to lose my temper as I usually do in situations like this, but with God's help, I remained calm until i got to my car -- and bawled my eyes out.

See, school was more than a path to preach, it was a path to get back into the workforce and let my wife come home. Make our family the way God intended. Make my wife happy. Make my kids happy. Make me happy. Now, it all comes crashing down. The best laid plans...

Now what am I going to do? A long dead part of me cried out, "Go get drunk!" Now, I'm the first to tell people that getting drunk solves no problems. It only makes new ones. And, with God's help, I overcame that temptation as well.

I got home and really did not know what to do. I ate lunch and sat down to write. I had originally titled this "Bummed Out" but after reading it decided it was too depressing. (And this ain't?)

Well, I prayed. I sat down and asked God what to do. God rarely speaks out loud, he just turns on a dim light and hopes you'll see it. This time I did. I started looking for Financial Aid on the internet. I applied for several grants and scholarships. I even found out I'm not completely shot down for loans (I defaulted on my last student loans, though I've been paying on them quite nicely for the last 7 years). So, perhaps funding for furthering my college education is out there. Perhaps my preaching career is not on indefinite hold. Perhaps I can get started with this soon!

There are two more endeavors I'm undertaking. I'm writing a book called "Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad." I'm quite qualified for it.

God may close one door, but there's another one waiting to be opened right around the corner. Patience and prayer will help you find it.

---

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for helping me face the issues in my life. Thank you for providing for me in my time of need.

Father, I know you have a plan for me. Finding out what that plan is may be the most difficult thing for me to do. I am not looking for a free ride. I simply want to know how I am to fulfill your plans for me in this lifetime.

Grant me the wisdom and the means necessary to reflect your glory. Let me carry your word and grace to those who have never heard it.

In Jesus' Holy Name we pray,
Amen.